Sunday, July 05, 2009

Things.... one told you when you were about to become a parent.

1) "Sleeping in" means 7 a.m.

2) Never going to the bathroom with the door shut. (I get tripped up with that one when I am at other peoples' houses....)

3) When feeding the children becomes a priority, your own food needs do not. (Lunch the other day for me was the crusts from the kids' grilled cheese sandwiches. Seriously.)

4) If the baby doesn't want me to sit down, I don't sit down. Sigh.

5) A good nights' sleep is a TOTAL of six hours. Double sigh.

6) The amount of laundry in the household that contains a new baby is DOUBLE the amount of laundry before the ten-pound child hit the scene....EVEN if you only change his clothes every other day.

7) You can love your child more than you can possibly imagine and yet want to pinch his little head off.

8) Little boys (and maybe little girls, too, but little boys is all I know) have HARD bodies: toes, fingers, knees, elbows, shoulders, heads, etc. And they will use every single one of those hard bits to pummel you on a regular basis.

9) Kids never walk anywhere. They trot.

10) Just when you think you cannot possibly get madder at them than you are, you do, but in the next second they do something so precious that your heart just melts and you nearly dissolve into a puddle of tears (or is that just me?)


Julia said...

Oh, I have to think twice about closing the door to go to the bathroom at other people's houses too! Ah, the near-complete destruction of societal boundaries... :)

And I just LOVE the way toddlers run everywhere. Maybe if I did that it would help with my weight-loss efforts?

Recovering Sociopath said...

Regarding #10, no, it's not just you. Is universal. Is their defense against #7.

My security word for this comment is "cotprate," which should be a word if it isn't. It sounds like a Shakespearean insult.